First came the night, then came the dawn, now the world is experiencing the most frightening day imaginable

Year of Release:  1985

Directed by:  George Romero

Source:  DVD (Own Collection)

Average IMDb Rating:  7.0

Average Rotten Tomatoes Rating:  79%

The United States and, from the looks of it, the entire world are under control by the walking dead.  Modern civilization is extinct and the only thing resembling a stable government is a group of military soldiers, with a handful of scientists, trying to find a cure for the zombie epidemic in an underground bunker in Florida, miles away from the dead.

Dr. “Frankenstein” Logan is the head scientist in the underground bunker, and he really lives up to his nickname:  he’s experimenting on the bodies of the dead soldiers from the unit that is protecting them,  which is lead by the sadistic Captain Rhodes.  Dr. Logan’s research has lead him to believe that a zombie can be domesticated, just like any other savage animal, and his test subject is a zombie named Bub, who has retained some of his basic motor skills.  Dr. Logan feels that Bub is the next phase of zombies, so he requests that Captain Rhodes go back to the surface and retrieve more live subjects for him to continue his research.  Of course, nothing goes according to plan and chaos ensues, forcing the soldiers and scientists to fight for their lives and fight off the army of the dead.

Day of the Dead is one of the most underrated horror films of all time and suffers from something I call Godfather III syndrome.  Godfather IIIsyndrome is when you have the third film in a trilogy trying to live up to the hype and grandiose of the first two movies, and ultimately fails.  The Godfather III is a good movie, but when you compare it to the first two, it just can’t compete.  Think of it like this:  the Godfather opens to rave reviews, becomes an instant classic, is nominated for 11 Oscars, wins 3 of them, including best picture, and is considered an American classic.  The Godfather is ranked a 10 out of 10.  A few years down the road, they make a sequel, the Godfather II, and deja vu, it opens to good reviews, becomes an instant classic, is nominated for 11 Oscars, wins 6 of them, including best picture, and becomes an American classic.  If the Godfather is ranked a 10 out of 10, then part II had to be ranked a 15 out of 10.  Almost a decade later, they decide to release another one, Godfather III, but this time, something different happens:  it opens to mixed reviews, is considered a failure next to the other two movies, gets nominated for 6 Oscars, wins none, and will forever be remembered as the red-headed step-child of the holy trilogy of gangster movies.

Day of the Dead follows the same formula as Godfather III:  first two movies are considered classics in the horror community, but the third one can’t compare to the first two.  I never understood that logic because Day of the Dead, like the Godfather III, is still a damn good movie, but when you compare it to the two masterpieces ahead of it, I could see why everyone thinks they are failures, but they’re really not.

Day of the Dead has a lot going for itself.  Of all the Romero movies in the undead trilogy, this had by far the bleakest story.  In Night and Dawn, it seemed like humanity still had a chance to defeat the living dead, but Day shows you that humanity is almost extinct, and a new dominant species was walking the earth, the undead.  The only humans we see through the whole movie are these 12 scientists and soldiers and for all we know, they might be the last 12 people left on Earth.

This movie had the same claustrophobic feel to it that the original Night of the Living Dead had in the sense that in both of these movies, the main characters are confined to a small space with zombies outside, trying to get to them.  And just like Night, the humans are losing trust of the people around them and are slowly cracking, making them more dangerous than the zombies.  But unlike Night, the humans have some of the zombies chained up like pets, feeding them and trying to teach them to play fetch or something, I forget.

The main reason I love this movie so much is for the super  gory scenes that Tom Savini created.  Savini went from simple gore effects in Dawn of the Dead to some of the goriest, disgusting death scenes in the history of horror films:

Seeing this as a little kid whet my appetite for super realistic gore so much that I became an instant Tom Savini fan.  These two scenes put Savini on the map and made him a household name in the world of horror.

Original Source:  The Haunt of Fear

Directed by:  Richard Donner

The Story:

Ulric the Undying (Pantoliano), a circus performer who has the ability to resurrect from death, is laying in a coffin, buried six feet underground, and is reflecting on who he is and how he got to where he is. Ulric was a homeless bum who went nowhere in life, fast.  He gets approached by a scientist (Vintas) who makes him a deal:  one thousand dollars for the chance to experiment on him by transferring a gland from a cat’s brain to fuse with Ulric’s brain.  The idea is that the gland holds a cat’s “nine lives” and if fused with a human, will give that person nine lives and will allow him to resurrect from any death.  Ulric agrees and the doctor successfully transmits the gland to Ulric’s brain.  Ulric doesn’t know if it works, so the scientist shoots Ulric in the head.

Ulric comes back to life and sees the potential of his ability.  They go to the local carnival and make a deal with the ringmaster (Wuhl).  The ringmaster can kill Ulric in any way imaginable and he guarantees that he will be brought back to life.  The ringmaster accepts and gives the two a shot.  At the first show, Ulric is placed in a water tank and drowns.  At first he doesn’t come back to life right away, so the crowd turns on them and leaves.  The ringmaster does everything in his power to bring them back, but the crowd thinks that they have been swindled.  Suddenly, Ulric resurrects and the crowd goes back into the tent, amazed with what they just saw.  Ulric the Undying becomes a big hit and makes all parties involved rich.  However,the scientist takes a 60% cut of his earnings to help fund his research on cats.

Along the way the beautiful assistant (York) to the ringmaster begins to date Ulric and they fall in love.  For Ulric’s second death, he is placed in a noose and is hung.  The crowd goes wild and more people are going to watch him perform, making the circus richer and ultimately, the scientist and Ulric get richer as a result.

Ulric feels that it’s time to cut the scientist out of the deal and wants to take all of the profits for himself.  On a rainy night, Ulric is driving the scientist into the city to conduct more research. Ulric goes over 100 mph and crashes into a brick wall, killing both of them.  Ulric comes back to life and is delighted because he now has the chance to keep all the profits for himself, but it came at a cost of one of his lives.

Ulric’s next death is by electrocution via an electric chair.  Ulric has become a media sensation and is now demanding 80% profits from the ringmaster, who begrudgingly accepts the offer.

For his next act, Ulric gets shot through the heart by an arrow.

As Ulric makes more money, he decides that he might retire and go live in Florida with his girlfriend, the ringmaster’s assistant.  She doesn’t agree and blinded over greed, she stabs Ulric in the back with a knife, killing him and costing him another life.  She takes most of his earnings and leaves town.

Ulric realizes that he has only one life left to spare before his ultimate death, so he decides to do one final act, but demands that he gets 100% of the profits from the show.  Again, the ringmaster has no other choice but to accept Ulric’s offer because he is the reason his circus is profitable again.  This leads us back to Ulric buried in the coffin.

The Twist:

As Ulric reflects on his life, he has a deadly realization:  when the scientist originally killed the cat to experiment on, he took away one of the lives from the cat.  That means Ulric has miscalculated how many lives he actually has and is at his 9th and final life.  Ulric begs and screams for anyone to let him out, but no one can hear him and is left in his final resting place to die, for one final time.

Original Source:  The Vault of Horror

Directed by:  Robert Zemeckis

Intro:

This was one of the first episodes of Tales From The Crypt that I remember seeing as a child.  This episode is very popular among fans of the show and it’s one of the few episodes that stands out in people’s memories, mainly because the premise is excellent, but it’s the twist at the end that is oh so sweet.  This story was also featured in the original Tales From The Crypt film from 1972, with Joan Collins as the woman.  Larry Drake, of Dr. Giggles fame, makes his first of two appearances on Tales From The Crypt as the killer Santa.

The Story:

It’s the night of Christmas Eve and a woman has just impaled her husband with a fire poker.  She commits this ghastly deed so she can get his inheritance money and run off into the sunset with her lover.  She’s in a tough spot because she has her daughter upstairs asleep, waiting for Santa to come and drop off presents, so she has to ditch the corpse quick.

OUCH!!!!!

To dispose of her husband’s body she decides to drag him outside, during a massive snowstorm, and throw the lifeless body down the well that’s in their backyard.  While she’s outside struggling with the dead body, she misses the local news report on the radio saying that a man dressed up in a Santa suit has escaped from the nearby mental hospital and is close to her area.

Where's my milk!!??

Santa attacks her with an ax, but the woman fights back and knocks him out cold with the same poker she used to kill her husband.  She runs back in the house to call the police and they tell her to arm herself with any weapon she has in the house.  She realizes that her husband has a gun in the closet, so she runs into the tiny closet to get it.  Unfortunately, she locks herself in the closet.

Santa wakes up and grabs a ladder and tries to get into the house by climbing up to the second floor, where the woman’s daughter’s room is.  The woman sees this transpire from the window at the top of the closet and is trying her hardest to get out of the closet to go save her daughter.  She’s trying to kick the door down, but to no avail.  She runs into it with all her might, and slowly the locked door begins to open.

The daughter wakes up from the noise and opens the window to see Santa trying to climb up the side of the house.  The little girl actually thinks that this is the real Santa Claus coming up to see her, so she extends her hand out the window to try to let him in.

Note to self: Use chimney next year

The Twist:

Downstairs, the lady finally bursts out of the locked closet and runs upstairs to see if her daughter is ok.  The window is wide open, blowing in cold air and snow, but her daughter is not in the room.  The woman hears her daughter yell out “Mommy” from downstairs.  She runs downstairs to see her daughter holding the hand of Santa, saying “I told you he’d come, Mommy.”  The woman is paralyzed on the stairs screaming “NO,NO,NO,NO!!!!!!!” in horror as Santa approaches her with his ax.  Santa asks her “naughty, or nice?” before he kills her.

No,no,no,no!!!!!!!!!

Original Source:  Tales From the Crypt

Directed by:  Walter Hill

Niles Talbort (Bill Sadler) is the executioner at a state penitentiary just outside of Los Angeles.  He loves his job and feels that exterminating the lowest rabble of society is the proper way to keep the world in balance.  However, the state legislation has dropped the death penalty due to its effective deterrent of lower crime rates.  With no more executions taking place, the prison is forced to let Niles go.  Niles decides to exact his own twisted form of vengeance on the criminals of Los Angeles by becoming a vigilante and serving as a judge, jury, and executioner.

Niles begins to visit courtrooms and stakes out criminals who have been found not guilty through questionable means.  His first victim is a biker who was let off on a clerical error.  The biker heads home one night and opens a gate to his home, however, Niles has rigged the fence with 2000 volts of electricity, killing the biker.

His second victim is a man and his mistress who were found not guilty for murdering the man’s wife, again let go on a technicality.  As the couple comes home to celebrate, they decide to take a dip in their jacuzzi.  Niles is their waiting and throws a wire into the water, electrocuting the horrible couple.

Niles’ third victim is a Go Go dancer who was found not guilty of killing her husband.  As she dances in her metal Go Go cage 30 feet above the ground, she doesn’t notice the two jumper cables hooked up to the cage.  Niles is in the other room with a box that will activate the currents to annihilate her.  However, the cables have been cut and the cops burst in, arresting Niles.  Much to Niles’ dismay, we find out that the state legislation has reversed its previous decision regarding the death penalty, welcoming it back with much jubilation.

The Twist:

Niles is found guilty and is sentenced to death by means of the electric chair.  In the end, he dies from the same device that he used to use to “avenge” society from its criminals.

Comic Book Men’s debut was on Sunday night, right after The Walking Dead (such a perfect lead in: to go from a hit TV show that was based on a comic book to a show that shows you what a typical comic book fan looks and thinks like.  Well played AMC.)  Going into this show, I had a love/hate relationship with Kevin Smith, the show’s executive producer and owner of the comic book store which the show would take place in, Jay and Silent Bob’s Secret Stash.  

I was on the fence with this show going into Sunday night, mainly because it looks like a show about me and my nerdy friends discussing nerdy stuff like comic books, video games, etc.  Why the hell would I want to watch that when I could easily experience it for myself at the infamous Casa de Lopez, my friend’s house where I spent many a night playing Madden, watching movies, playing Magic the Gathering, amongst other nerdy activities? (shakes head in shame)

Comic Book Men is a reality show about the daily happenings of the workers of Jay and Silent Bob’s Secret Stash in Red Bank, New Jersey.    They are Walter, Bryan, Mike, and Ming, with the owner, Mr. Smith, making a few cameo appearances.  Walt Flannagan and Bryan Johnson are Kevin Smith regulars who have appeared in most of his films from Clerks to Mallrats to Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.  Walt is the manager of the shop while Mike and Ming are his underlings.  Bryan, with the super long beard, is not an employee, but he is a regular at the shop that does everything in his power to piss off Walt, Mike, and Ming.

In last night’s debut episode, there are three story lines that are happening simultaneously: the shop has way too much inventory so Walt decides to send the guys to a local flea market to liquidate the items at a massive discounted price, with the winner getting two straight weekends off in a row. (as an employee in sales and worse, in retail, I’m used to hearing about these little bullshit contests to get weekends off, so I feel their pain)

The other storyline, which looks like it will be a regular part of the story of each episode going forward, is that people bring in valuable toys, comic books, posters, etc. to sell to the shop, a la Pawn Stars (one of my most hated reality shows on cable television).

The third storyline, which I like the best, is the four guys and Kevin Smith are in a recording studio talking about everything in the show that just happened in each segment.  It’s like they are providing a commentary track for each scene, and if you haven’t heard a commentary track from Kevin Smith, you have not lived. (The two best commentary tracks he has ever done were Chasing Amy and Mallrats.  Why?  Both tracks had Ben Affleck  in it and he was on his A game)  I’ve always loved Kevin Smith’s Evening With series where he just talks for three straight hours because Mr. Smith is a genuinely funny guy who has a million stories about everything, so it’s nice to see him talk comics with the guys.

I loved the chemistry between all of the guys.  It was very fluid, not forced, and you can tell they’ve been working together for a long time building strong rapport, discussing everything from pop culture to comics to video games.

I also loved the comic book references throughout the show.  The first two minutes has Walt, Bryan, and Mike discussing how Batman and Robin’s first meeting was a little on the pedophiliac side.  Brilliant.  These are the kind of conversations me and my friends have all the time about comic book characters.

The one thing I am on the fence about was the Pawn Stars like idea of bringing in a collectible and trying to sell it.  I do like the stuff people are bring in to show Walt and the guys, such as an Australian Dawn of the Dead poster, a replica Chucky doll, original art drawn by Bob Kane, and a really cool Jack Kirby Thor poster.

I just don’t like the concept from Pawn Stars, mainly because I’m not a fan of reality shows like Pawn Stars, Hardcore Pawn, Parking Wars, Storage Wars, Shipping Wars, etc.  I’m sure I can look past this concept of the show as long as Kevin Smith and the guys are providing their witty banter on pop culture.

Overall, solid debut episode.  The show caters to geeks and nerds through the references and the show’s premise.  As a lifelong fan of comic books, I appreciate hearing the Batman, Star Wars, and horror references.  What other show can offer humor and make all of these references all packaged up and wrapped in a nice little bow?  None.  AMC has another great hit on their hands and I’ll certainly be tuning in every Sunday night to watch.

Until next time,

Matt De Luna, the Delunatic

Do you feel lucky?

Year of release:  2011

Directed by:  Scott Spiegel

Source:  DVD (Rental)

Average IMDb rating:  4.8

Average Rotten Tomatoes rating:  22%

Introduction:

The first Hostel was not my cup of tea, even though Eli Roth showcased an amazing amount of gore.  Hostel II was a little better, as far as story went and had even more gore, which always help in the world of horror.  When I heard there was going to be a third Hostel coming out, I was a little hesitant for three big reasons:

• Eli Roth was not attached as either the Director/Producer/Writer.  What?
• It was coming straight to DVD.  What?
• The film’s setting is no longer in Eastern Europe, but in Las Vegas.  WHAT??????

I am a big fan of Eli Roth and he lives the life that many of us horror fans would dream to have.  He built a successful horror franchise that, for the most part, fans and critics have embraced as quality films.  Sure he has haters out there, but who in Hollywood doesn’t?  (Except for Kurt Russell of course.  How can anyone hate on him?)

I decided to risk $1.29 and rent Hostel III from the local Redbox and see if this movie could live up to the first two films and I am pleased to say that I was pleasantly surprised with this entry.

WARNING!!!!!!  SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!!!

The movie opens with four friends, Scott, Carter, Mike, and Justin, going to Las Vegas for a bachelor party.  After the guys meet two female escorts, Nikki and Kendra, who invite them to an exclusive party across town, things quickly begin to go from bad to worse.  After a night of partying, Mike and Nikki are missing and the group of guys and Kendra must find them quickly.  What they don’t realize is that they have been captured by the Elite Hunting Club, a sadistic group of rich men and women who gamble on how their victims will die.  One by one, the group falls into their trap and is subjected to various forms of torture.  Will they escape, or will they all be another notch on the belts of the Elite Hunting Club?

Hostel III is like the nerdy, sheepish girl with glasses in high school who has two very hot sisters.  Hostel is the 5’2” older, thin, blonde cheerleader who likes to tease you and trick you into doing her biology homework for her.  Hostel II is the 5’5” brunette with nice curves who plays volleyball and can hang with the guys for a round of beers. Now you look at the abashed sister, Hostel III, and on the surface you think to yourself “wow she’s nowhere near as hot as her two older sisters, but I bet if she puts her hair down, takes the glasses off, and puts on a little make up, she could be just as hot as the other two.  I mean, she’s already got the great personality, she just needs the looks to match, right?”  This terrible analogy sums up how I feel about Hostel III:  it’s nowhere near as pretty as the other two, but damnit it has some personality.

Hostel III’s biggest strength is its personality, or its story.  Well, most of the story anyway.  The writer, Michael D. Weiss, gives us a refreshing new twist on the Hostel franchise:  the scary possibility of being captured and tortured against your will is no longer just in Eastern Europe, it’s now back home, in America’s playground of debauchery, Las Vegas.

Weiss hits us with not one, but two curveballs that break the “typical Hostel formula.”  Presented to you is my non-scientific Hostel formula, awaiting patent by the US Patent Office and the Horror Blogger Alliance:

 Young American kids + hot bamboozling European women + booze/drugs – proper judgement x torture   divided by  Rich people = Hostel

First curveball:  The first scene gives us the classic formula:  We see a young American man going into a hostel to stay for the night.  He shares a room with a young Eastern European couple who offer him drinks from a questionable bottle of vodka.  The young man refuses and offers them beer.  The girlfriend then undresses in front of the young man and gets in the shower.  As I was watching this movie, I was thinking to myself “oh great, same old, same old as the other two.  The kid is going to get drugged or kidnapped thanks to these two Europeans”  But then BAM!!!!, director Scott Spiegel throws a Mariano curve at you:  it turns out the young man has spiked the beer and has lured the young couple into the hands of the Elite Hunting Club, who then kidnap the young couple.  Not only that, but we find out that the young couple are actually foreigners who are vacationing in America.

Second curveball:  The guys meet two very hot young women, Nikki and Kendra, who tell them that they know of a cool strip club they can all go party at.  The only thing is this place is off of the strip and in an abandoned warehouse.  Again, I’m thinking “great, back to the same old formula where the two hot chicks are paid by the Elite Hunting Club to lure young guys to this abandoned warehouse to get tortured.”  But then, Spiegel throws us a wicked Halladay curve:  it turns out the girls were right the whole time, that the place is actually a strip club and they party with the guys.  But soon after that they both fall victim to the Elite Hunting Club as well, becoming notches on their sadistic belt.

Where Hostel III succeeds is its fresh, new concepts to an already tired formula of movies.  Also, the film has a very quick pace and the story moves along really quick, getting you right to the Elite Hunting Club and its extracurricular activities off of the Vegas strip really early in the film.

While the film has great personality, it has several huge flaws.  The first being the films budget.  Hostel was made for $4.5 million.  Hostel II was made for $10 million.  This film was made for ?????.  I couldn’t find any info on the budget but my guess is that it was exceptionally less than the original film’s $4.5 million.  Had the film received a bigger budget they could have incorporated practical effects for the torture scenes instead of the ridiculously laughable CGI gore we got fed in this one.

For example, one of the girls is tortured by having lots of live roaches crawling down her throat, Creepshow style.  What we got were CGI rendered roaches that looked ridiculously fake which completely destroyed the moment and caused me to laugh.  Another scene had the Elite Hunting Clubs building get blown up, to cover any evidence, and we got some of the worst looking CGI fire that I have ever seen.

For this being a Hostel film, the gore is pretty light.  Most of the torture scenes do not show a lot of blood and some of the deaths are performed off camera, forcing our imaginations to think about what’s really happening to these poor people.  That may work in a supernatural film or a Hitchcock film, but this is Hostel!!! The whole point of watching these movies is to see some dumb Americans get cut up and drenched in blood.  Which goes back once again to the light budget.  If the budget was higher we would have gotten some really good death scenes.

The budget also limited hiring quality cast members.  The most well known actor in this ensemble was Kip Pardue, who is the best man Carter, best known for playing the quarterback Sunshine in Remember the Titans.  The hero and future groom, Scott, played by Brian Hallisay, was stiff and reminded me of Tom Welling from Smallville if he was cast in a horror movie (wasn’t he in that crappy The Fog remake?  Crap.  Scratch that last statement).  John Hensley, best known as Matt from Nip/Tuck, who plays the crippled Justin was ok, but not great.  Skyler Stone, who plays Mike, was trying too hard to be the comic relief, a la Zack Galifinakis in The Hangover.  (This film felt like they were trying way too hard to be like The Hangover mixed with a horror film)

To me, the biggest weakness was the exclusion of Eli Roth, the man responsible for the first two.  If Roth was involved, there would have been practical effects, lots more gore, and definitely a bigger budget, which would have lead to a bigger and better cast.  I don’t know why Eli Roth was not included for this project but he could have at least produced or been a creative consultant or something.

Hostel III was surprisingly ok.  I was expecting this to be a god awful straight to DVD film like Hellraiser: Revelations which tried to pull in an audience based on the name alone.  You really have to give the director and writer credit for this one:  they took something old and gave it a new, fresh take on it.  While it may not be as good as the first two, it’s still worth watching, especially if you’re a fan of the franchise.  Overall, the story was very good, but the CGI effects, bad acting, and lack of gore really weigh this film down.  Going back to my analogy, the shy, mousy girl has a lot of potential to be hot, but she ultimately can’t be as pretty as her two other sisters, no matter how hard she tries.

Until next time,

Matt De Luna, the De Lunatic.

Year of Release:  1964

Directed by:  Stanley Kubrick

Source:  DVD (Own Collection)

Average IMDb Rating:  8.6

Average Rotten Tomatoes Rating:  100%

Introduction:  

I know what you’re thinking:  ”Dr. Strangelove is not a horror movie!!!!!!”  I know, I know, but there is a valid reason for this entry here today on MVH.  For the entire month of January, Chuck over at Zombies DON’T Run is running Stanley Kubrick month, where he will be discussing all things Kubrick.  As a big Kubrick fan, I decided to contribute to this glorious Kubrick celebration by putting in my two cents and discussing one of my favorite comedies of all time, Dr. Strangelove.  This film is not your traditional comedy, like a Bridesmaids or a Superbad, since it deals with very unfunny themes like war, communism, and massive global destruction, but it’s the brilliant performance by legendary comedian Peter Sellers that really gets the laughs going out of this black comedy.  Sellers, best known for his role in The Pink Panther, plays three different characters in the film:  The US President, Group Captain Lionel Mandrake, and the former German scientist Dr. Strangelove.

The Film:

The United States and Russia are at the peak of the Cold War and US Brig. Gen. Jack Ripper (Sterling Hayden) decides to end the war once and for all by ordering all of his B-52 bombers to nuke the Soviets back to the stone age.  The General orders British Officer Lionel Mandrake (Sellers) to lock the base down and to cut off all communication to the outside world.  Mandrake suspects that this communications blackout is more than just a drill.  Meanwhile, Major “King” Kong (Slim Pickens), captain of the 843rd Bomb Wing, thinks this attack is also a drill.  After reviewing the code sent by Ripper, he realizes that this attack is no drill, it’s a call to arms.

Sellers as Group Captain Lionel Mandrake

Back in Washington, the US President Merkin Muffley (Sellers again) and his top military personnel meet in the War Room of the Pentagon to discuss the possibilities of a nuclear war with Russia and to come up with a solution to stop the planes.  We learn that the planes can only be recalled by transmitting to them a code that only General Ripper knows.  The President sends the Army to Ripper’s base to apprehend him and to give them the code so they can stop the planes.  The General, thinking ahead, orders his men to fire on any military personnel who approach the base, telling his men that they are “commies in disguise.”

President Muffley brings the Russian Ambassador into the War Room to help him communicate with the Russian Prime Minister, Dmitri.  Air Force General “Buck” Turgidson (George C. Scott) dislikes all commies, and feels that the Russian Ambassador is there to spy on the US’ military strategies and leak that info back to the Kremlin.  He protests keeping the Ambassador in the War Room, but the President refuses and keeps him in the War Room anyway.  The Ambassador has information that drastically ups the stakes in this deadly chess game:  the Russians have built a “doomsday device” that will obliterate all life on earth, triggered by an attack on Russia by any nuclear weapons.

Sellers as President Merkin Muffley

The President asks his top military scientist Dr. Strangelove (Sellers again), an ex German physicist from World War II, for advice on how to stop the doomsday device, but he concludes that the device cannot be stopped, that the only solution is to stop the planes from attacking Russia.

Sellers as Dr. Strangelove

At Ripper’s base, the Army has arrived, but they are being fired on by Ripper’s men.  The General is in his office scribbling the phrase “Purity of Earth” all over his paperwork stationary, sitting patiently for news that his plan has worked.  Lionel Mandrake goes to the General and demands that he stops his plan, but to no avail.  The General decides to kill himself than to let Mandrake or anyone else know the code to stop his diabolical plan.

President Muffley informs Alexi that planes are coming to Russia to bomb them.  They both agree to shoot down all US planes over Russian airspace to prevent them from coming through.  ”King” Kong and his men get hit, but they still are alive, flying to their target, with no radio communication to the outside world due to the damage on their antenna from the attack on them by the Russians.

Mandrake figures out that the code to recall the planes is POE, the phrase that Ripper kept scribbling over and over again.  All the planes get the recall code and start to leave Russia…………..except for Major Kong and his boys, who are flying with no radio.  Major Kong arrives at one of their targets and decides to go out like a cowboy, by getting on top of the bomb and riding it like a bull all the way to the ground, detonating and killing himself in the process.

Major “King” Kong riding his nuke

With the bomb being detonated and the doomsday device killing all life on Earth, Dr. Strangelove comes up with a solution to keep humanity alive:  living underground in caves for the next 100 years to avoid the nuclear fallout from all the bombs.  Strangelove wants the smartest, most athletic, and most fertile people to breed to keep the human race alive and going.  Meanwhile, the Russian Ambassador is seen taking photos on his spy watch of the War Room, presumably sending them to Russia to let them know what the Americans are doing to handle this problem, making General Turgidson’s suspicions of him being a spy correct.  The movie then ends with stock footage of nuclear bombs detonating, giving us a possible glimpse of what is happening all around the world at that time.

Analysis:

I remember watching this movie in 11th grade US History and getting blown away by the story.  This film really does propose a frightening thought:  what if a top ranked official went rogue and tried to start a nuclear war?  That’s what I though to myself in 2001, a whole decade after the Cold War was over.  Can you imagine seeing this in 1964, during the height of the Cold War?  You would probably be scared to death and invest in a bomb shelter and pray that something like this could never, ever, ever, ever, EVER happen.  That’s the exact reaction Kubrick wanted out of people and you know what, it worked.  The nation was completely frightened by this film because of the possibility of the unknown:  can we trust our people to not fire a nuke?  Can we trust the Russians to not fire a nuke at us?

Kubrick really lined up an all star cast that gave amazing performances, from Peter Sellers to Sterling Hayden to George C. Scott to a very young James Earl Jones, this movie really showcased their talent.  Sellers was so good in this movie that you forget that the man playing Dr. Strangelove is also the same man playing the US President.  When I first saw this movie when I was a teenager, I had no clue who Peter Sellers was or that he played three different roles in the film.  After this film, I wanted to watch everything that had Peter Sellers in it.  I watched Pink Panther and Lolita, another great Kubrick film, and Peter Sellers really is one of the most underrated comedians of all time.

Kubrick was the best technical director of his era, and it shows in this film.  The interior of the B-52 bomber was recreated just by viewing one picture of the cabin from a magazine.  The military was impressed that Kubrick was able to basically build the entire body and interior of a spy plane that nobody at that time had ever seen yet.  Kubrick also incorporated a lot of matte shots for the exterior of the plane flying over Russia and for the famous “bull riding” scene where Kong rides the nuke like a bull.

Conclusion:

Dr. Strangelove is still my favorite Kubrick film to this day.  The story, the acting, the directing, the look of the film, everything is perfect.  To this day I still laugh at all the jokes in the movie, from the President calling the Russian Prime Minister to let him know his country is about to be bombed to the quick little one liners provided by Mandrake.  Any comedy that could still make me laugh after multiple viewings is good in my book.  If you haven’t seen this movie yet, shame on you.  Rent it.  Hell, buy it.  It’s damn worth it.  I guarantee you that this will be a film you will enjoy for the rest of your life.  Until next time.

-Matt De Luna, the De-Lunatic.

The WWF in the late 80s and early 90s had a who’s who of cartoonish, unrealistic, and implausible array of wrestlers:  The Mountie, The Repo Man, Dr. Isaac Yankem D.D.S., IRS, etc.  These were the “worker” promos, men who had day jobs but somehow became a wrestler at night, in their free time.  I mean, if you’re repossessing cars and drilling teeth all day, it would make sense to jump in the ring and try to fight the Ultimate Warrior, right?  WRONG!!!!!

Which takes us to the night of November 22, 1990 in Hartford, Connecticut where the WWF would debut an unstoppable force:  The Undertaker.  His Survivor Series debut showed his superb skill and agility in the ring and it introduced the wrestling world to a new type of promo, the horror promo.

Since the Undertaker’s debut, both WCW and WWF tried to introduce new wrestlers with some type of horror theme.  Some were good, some were bad, and some were down right ugly.  As a horror and wrestling fan in my youth, I was excited for what I was seeing:  an amalgam of two of my favorite past times unfolding before my eyes.  Even though these wrestlers could not match the intensity and bravado of the Undertaker character, it was nice to see horror represented in the wrestling ring.

As a fan of horror, I present my top ten list of the best horror themed wrestlers:

10)  Viscera

Viscera was the enforcer for the Undertaker’s Ministry of Darkness back in the WWF’s attitude era of the 90s.  He was a former good guy, or face, as Mabel and even won the King of the Ring at one time, earning him the title King Mabel.  The Undertaker and his other minions kidnapped him and transformed him into Viscera, a really, really, really, REALLY fat goth.  The Viscera character would be stuck as a jobber for the rest of the Ministry storyline and never did much after that.

9)  Doink the Clown

I’m not scared of clowns, but I know a lot of people who are, so this image must be terrifying for them to look at.  Doink was a mid level jobber who never really did much during his tenure at the WWF, except for scaring the holy crap out of all the coulrophobians out there.  But that didn’t stop Vince McMahon from placing Doink on as much WWF licensed merchandise as he could:  t-shirts, video games, toys, and magazines.  For someone who never won a belt, Doink was one of the most popular wrestlers in the early 90s.  Why?  We’ll never know.

8.  Giant Gonzalez

Oh how Vince McMahon loves his big men.  Andre the Giant, the Big Show, the Undertaker, and…………… Giant Gonzalez?  Let’s play a game:  which of these names don’t belong in this group of legendary big men?  If you answered Giant Gonzalez, you’re correct!!!  This giant was supposed to be the next Andre the Giant and serve as the Undertaker’s main nemesis, but it never panned out.  And having a suit with abs painted on doesn’t help out much either.  (Hmmm, I’m seeing a pattern forming.  I guess if you’re  a horror themed wrestler, you’re destined for jobber status).  Giant Gonzalez reached his peak when he fought and lost to the Undertaker at Wrestlemania IX in Vegas, and he shortly fizzled out after that.

7)  Nailz

Aaaahhhhhh Nailz.  This jobber was a favorite of mine when I was a kid.  He reminded me of the Vigo from Ghostbusters II, the ghost in the painting.  See what I mean?  When I was a kid, I actually thought these were the same two men.  Nailz was a former convict who was supposedly assaulted in jail by the Big Boss Man and he entered the WWF to seek revenge on his former abuser.  He was truly scary because when he was first introduced to the WWF, he handcuffed the Boss Man to the ropes and beat him with his own nightstick.  That’s some pretty heavy stuff to watch when you’re a kid.  He’s the only entry on the list who does not have some sort of supernatural or ghostly theme going on.  He’s just a crazy guy who’s messed up in the head who is seeking revenge, which is scarier than a giant or a shaman or a boogeyman.

6)  The Boogeyman

The Boogeyman is the only entry in the list who debuted during the post Attitude era of the WWF.  I stopped watching wrestling around 2002 and according to google he made his debut in 2005, so I have no idea who he is or what his story lines were.  All I know is that he ate worms.  Worms.   Worms?  What kind of pay was he making to eat worms?  Were fans receptive to this promo?  But despite his unusual diet, he gets tons of extra brownie points for the makeup and overall costumer.  How sweet is that makeup?  If he debuted around the same time as Papa Shango back in the early 90s, they probably would’ve made on helluva tag team.  Boogeyman, you came around 10 years too late.

5)  Papa Shango

Speak of the devil, coming in at number 5 on the list is Papa Shango.  Shango was supposed to be a Haitian voodoo priest who tried to start a feud with Hulk Hogan and the Ultimate Warrior, but to no avail.  This voodoo priest had an amazing look to him and he carried with him a skull that emitted smoke.  He had decent moves and he cut really interesting promos, but he, along with the earlier entries on the list, were stuck in the jobber level of the WWF.  The Papa Shango character left the WWF in 1993 and the actual wrestler, Charles Wright, would return a few years later and become the Godfather, a pimp who had a group of girls, dubbed the HOE train, follow him everywhere he went.  Quite a career change huh, going from a voodoo priest to a pimp?

4)  Gangrel

Gangrel and his Brood  had the best entrance of any wrestler during the Attitude era, hands down.  He arose from the depths of Hell with a goblet full of blood.  BADASS!!!!!!  This is what a vampire should be, not some sparkly emo kid who is trying to hook up with a depressed, emotionless girl.  Vince Russo created Gangrel, much to the chagrin of Vince McMahon, but he worked, at least in my opinion.  Gangrel was vastly underrated during his tenure in the WWF and was stuck in the mid level status, while his Brood members, Edge and Christian, would go on and have successful careers, even becoming Heavyweight champions down the road.  What a shame.  I salute you Gangrel with a goblet full of blood.

3)  Mankind

The first entry on the list who reached elite, superstar status.  Long before the Mankind character evolved into a goofy, fan favorite, he debuted as a deranged freak who had a major feud with the Undertaker.  The WWF had never seen someone like Mankind before:  a true hardcore fighter who put his body on the line to beat his opponents. Mankind was a freak of nature who took chair shots to the head, pulled his own hair out, got thrown onto tacks, and even survived a 20 foot drop from the top of a cage.  Mankind has been involved in two of my favorite matches in the history of the WWF:  the infamous Hell in the Cell match vs the Undertaker and a championship match that I remember watching as a kid that no one EVER talks about, between him and Shawn Michaels at In Your House:  Mind Games.  Mankind, Mick Foley, Cactus Jack, or Dude Love, no matter what you called him, he was a legend who took one hell of a beating to please the crowd.  We will never see another Mankind again, especially during this PG Era of the WWE.

2)  Kane (Masked Version)

Kane made his debut at the very first Hell in the Cell match between Shawn Michaels and the Undertaker, and he made one hell of an entrance.  We would learn that Kane is the brother of the Undertaker, who was left for dead when their house supposedly burned down when they were kids, thus him seeking revenge on his bigger brother, the ‘Taker (and the name Kane is an homage to Cain and Abel from the Bible.  Very nice).  Kane had the same technical abilities as the Undertaker:  fast, strong, uses the chokeslam and finishes his brother off using a Tombstone piledriver.  Kane also had an amazing entrance as well, incorporating pyrotechnics when he entered the arena and the ring.  Kane would go on and win multiple championships and go down as one of the best big men of the Attitude Era.  (He also gets bonus points for starring in a horror movie, See No Evil).

1)  The Undertaker

Who else would it be?  The Prince of Darkness, the American Bad Ass, the Deadman, the Phenom, whatever you want to call him, he is the best horror themed wrestler of all time.  Several horror gimmick matches were created specifically for him:  the Casket Match, the Buried Alive match, the Boiler Room Brawl, and the Hell in the Cell match.  He is 19-0 lifetime at the biggest stage in the land, Wrestlemania.  He has had epic rivals with legends:  Hulk Hogan, Shawn Michaels, Bret Hart, Mankind, Kane, the Rock, Stone Cold Steve Austin, and Triple H.  He won 7 heavyweight championships during his 21 year tenure with the WWF.  The list of accomplishments can go on and on, but you could argue the Deadman is the greatest wrestler in the history of the WWF.

There you have it horror freaks.  Hope you were as nostalgic as I was when reading this list.  Until next time,

-Matt De Luna, the De Lunatic.

A big Happy Halloween to all you readers out there in the Horrorverse.  As I sit here on my front porch, writing this article while handing out candy to the kids, I think back to my Halloween days as a kid: dressing up, trick or treating, eating too much candy, get a sugar high, throw up, and miss school the next day due to a sugar poisoning.  Those were the days.  God I miss my early 20s.  I mean………my days as a kid.  Yeah.

To a horror fan, this holiday is what the Super Bowl is to a hardcore football fan.  It is the biggest stage of the year to showcase all things horror, from scary movies to scary costumes to haunted houses.  Halloween is the one time of the year for “normal people” to enter our horrorverse and become one with us.  It’s the one time of the year to bum for free food and it is deemed acceptable.  It’s the one time of the year girls dress super slutty and it’s acceptable.  It’s the one time of the year where guys are allowed to be creepers and stare at the slutty girls without feeling like a creep (but we totally are).

Raise your glasses on this joyous holiday my friends and let us salute the Masters of Horror, the men who dedicated their lives for all things horror:  John Carpenter, Wes Craven, George A. Romero, Tom Savini, Bruce Campbell, Tobe Hooper, Alfred Hitchcock, Dario Argento, Lucio Fulci, Stephen King, and the countless others out there I have left out.

Enjoy the holidays my friends and be safe out there.  You don’t know what kind of freaks are out there tonight.

-Matt De Luna, the De Lunatic